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SpaceFed's Rules of Acquisition [Star Trek]

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M A F I A

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Post 25 Aug 2007 17:34

SpaceFed's Rules of Acquisition [Star Trek]

Taken from The Ferengi's Rules of Acquisition and slightly edited. I like quite a lot of them, and you? :)

SpaceFed's Rules of Acquisition [Star Trek] wrote: * 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.

* 2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.

* 3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.

* 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. or Never allow family to stand in the way of profit.

* 7. Keep your ears open.

* 8. Small print leads to large risk.

* 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

* 10. Greed is eternal.

* 11. Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.

* 12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.

* 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

* 16. A deal is a deal.

* 17. A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between SpaceFed.

* 18. A SpaceFed without profit is no SpaceFed at all.

* 19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.

* 21. Never place friendship above profit.

* 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

* 23. Nothing is more important than your health. Except for your money.

* 27. There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.

* 31. Never make fun of a SpaceFed's mother...Insult something he cares about instead.

* 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

* 34. War is good for business.

* 35. Peace is good for business.

* 41. Profit is its own reward.

* 44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.

* 45. Expand or die.

* 47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.

* 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

* 52. Never ask when you can take.

* 57. Good customers are as rare as Deuterium. Treasure them.

* 58. There is no substitute for success.

* 59. Free advice is seldom cheap.

* 60. Keep your lies consistent.

* 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.

* 74. Knowledge equals profit.

* 75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Deuterium.

* 76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies!

* 79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.

* 82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.

* 85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.

* 89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.

* 94. Females and finances don't mix.

* 97. Enough... is never enough.

* 98. Every man has his price.

* 99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.

* 102. Nature decays, but Deuterium is forever.

* 104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.

* 106. There is no honor in poverty.

* 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth a sack.

* 111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them.

* 112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.

* 113. Always have sex with the boss.

* 121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.

* 123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Deuterium.

* 125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.

* 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.

* 141. Only fools pay retail.

* 144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.

* 162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.

* 168. Whisper your way to success.

* 177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.

* 181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.

* 189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.

* 190. Hear all; trust nothing.

* 192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.

* 194. It's always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.

* 202. The justification of profit is profit.

* 208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.

* 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.

* 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

* 217. You can't free a fish from water.

* 218. Always know what you're buying.

* 229. Deuterium lasts longer than lust.

* 236. You can't buy fate.

* 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.

* 242. More is good... all is better.

* 255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.

* 261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.

* 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Deuterium.

* 266. When in doubt, lie.

* 284. Deep down, everyone's a SpaceFed.

* 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
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ThE)Kire-kun

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Post 25 Aug 2007 18:18

Always have sex with your boss. I think that should be changed to as long there the opposite sex :)
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ThE)Veteran

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Post 25 Aug 2007 19:41

majic, such excellent principles to live by, i'll endeavor to do my best. :D
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To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
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ThE)Larry

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Post 25 Aug 2007 19:45

Pretty hilarious
* 192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
:) :) :)

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