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Mafia's General Tips for The Perfect Newbie's Alliance

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M A F I A

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A D M I N

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Post 28 Nov 2006 01:03

Mafia's General Tips for The Perfect Newbie's Alliance

Okay, so you want to play Ogame, but you are too cool to join an existing alliance and you want to make your own (and see it fail in a few months miserably), there's some kind of standard on how a 'Lame Alliance' is created and you want to conform to that, follow these suggestions and you are done

Naming a New Alliance - Choose a name for your alliance, it should be long and the tag should be complicated, good Examples of it can be "The Mighty Protectorate of Stars" (TMPS), or "United Global Allied Killers" (UGAK) or "Imperial Stars Navy Merchants" (ISNM)

Mandatory Statements in the Alliance Page - Once you reach the alliance page you should mention a few statements on this line "Attack one of us, attack us all" or "We are peaceful but we will defend our members" or "We will conquer the universe". It doesn't matter if you will actually do, it matters that you write it down, this will make you look righteous.

Diplomacy - Try to sign as many NAP and ALLIANCES as you can, doesn't matter if another alliance is composed of 3 members in noob protection and lives on the edge of G9, go ahead and sign a profitable alliance with them, the more on your page, the merrier. Of course, in case one of your allied gets declared, chicken out and pretend you never knew about that.

Attack Check - Don't let your member play their game, spend your day online checking who attacked whom and why, reprimand all members that attack any of your allieds, naps; at the same time set up a network of alliances and naps so wide and intricated that your members will be scared to attack even inactives and eventually quit ship production entirely just to be sure.

Ranks - This is a Top Importance Matter. Everybody likes ranks, so in order to please your members invent as many and as elaborate as you can, and possibly make it so that 'commanders and generals ranks' are more frequent than lower ranks, some good example of powerful ranks are : Supreme General, Fleet Admiral, Great Knight of The Stars etc... Also, take into consideration that no one likes to be a private.

Council - You ain't pro if you don't have an alliance council, no matter if you are just 4 members, you NEED a council, the principle is 'first come, first serve', so don't exitate to promote to "Grand Fleet Admiral" the first few newbies that join your alliance, they will be part of the much needed council.

Forums - Ok, your alliance needs a forum, so you build one, and you should create as many as you can.
Someone needs to sell deuterium? Open a trade forum.
You get a join request? Open a Join Forum.
Someone declare on you? You need a War Forum.
Some newbie ask for an advice? It's time for a Tactics Forum.
Some guy from another alliance comes to say 'hey'? Open a Diplomacy Forum.
Some guy wanna Spam? It's time for a Spam Board


The golden rule is : The More The Merrier. It doesn't matter that you open 24 forums and all together your boards have 19 posts (17 of which are yours spamming the board).

Ogame is a Wargame? - Ogame is a wargame right? False. The only form of attacks that are ethically acceptable are these against inactives. Build up your mines, research the heck out of the tech three but refrain to attack active players, as well as fleetsave of course. In case you get slaughtered by a random player nearby you know what to do. Go scream on every available forum about it, contact all the diplomats of the 14 alliances you are allied with and try to look for a diplomatic solution.

Ogame Boards - No matter what moderators and admin says, the only thing that matters on the boards is to have as many posts as possible, post, everywhere, no matter what, you will win the ultimate lame challenge, the post count.

Fleetsave, Defences, Moons - Fleetsaving is for losers, everybody knows that, it costs deuterium that is precious and must be stored in quantity for unclear uses, so encourage all your members that might shamefully decide to build ships to invest all their money into defences, your opponents will shake in fear at the sight of your 10.000 Rocket Launchers, in 3 years, when you will be done building them. Moons as everyone knows are pointless, since you cant build mines on them.

More on Ranks Remember ranks scores are NOT to be dynamic, you can set them only once, so you have two choices. Either you design the points needed to get the highest rank very low such as:

...
5.000 5 Stars General
10.000 Master General
20.000 Supreme General


So that after the uni is 3 months old you get an alliance mostly consisting of GENERALS.

Or, if you are smart you raise a lot the points requirements so yu dont have to update them anymore such as:

... 400.000 Sergeant
... 1.000.000 Lieutenent


So that after 4 years of playing, your highest ranked player is "PRIVATE FIRST CLASS".

on a side note, I've been reported from a friend that joined an alliance, that he was admitted as "2 Stars General" BUT sent to the academy without privileges since he was a new player. Can you imagine a General being sent to sleep with the recruits in an academy?

How to message an attacker: This is the standard message procedure if you are under attack:
First Message - LOL i am online


Wait 3 seconds, if he doesn't recall message again:

Second Message - I fleetsaved the planet's empty


Then in general you get scanned and the attacker sees you have saved your precious metal and left half a million of deuterium, in majority of cases he won't desist for reasons you ignore since as everyone knows deuterium is useless to build mines and most defences, it's time to change tactic:

Third Message - PLZ RECALL!!1!11!
or
Third Message - MY ALLIANCES WILL CARSH YOU TO DETH!!!!11!11 MUAHAHHA


Then you are done, all you have to do is wait ONLINE for the attack to land, lose your few battleship that you forgot to fleetsave, get angry and complain with your alliance leader asking for a full scale war.

Going Inactive It is ok if you go inactive, this can be great for building up your resources and no one will attack you because there is no fleet to crash. (Courtesy of C h a r l e s)

Join Advertising Remember, constantly spamming established players who are already in alliances with messages like "omg u hav 2 join us or we wul attk u!11!!" is a good idea. They like it really. (Courtesy of The Patrician)

More on Join Advertising also send out an insane number of invitations to people in top 1500 that should get you some members. Also, Mafia suggests NOT to personalize invitations as people like to be threated all alike, so do the same Ad Agency are doing with Leaflets, spam the same all over. (Courtesy of SohoSkiracer)

Circulars the more members, the more people to help you out. circular message is your friend. (Courtesy of BashYou)

Choose the Right Alliance if an alliance has someone with more than 100k points, it's a good alliance. this person can afford to give a noob like you plenty of res and will be glad to crush anyone who dares attack your 2 cruisers, even if they have to send their fleet from 2 galaxies away every other day to crash a 10BS fleet. (Courtesy of BashYou)

Admin Rights the more features an alliance gives a new member, the better. so everyone down to the rank of newbie can edit the alliance page and view online status? that's good. otherwise that section would be boring and not worth visiting. (Courtesy of BashYou)

Tight Cluster Alliance if an alliance has quite a few nearby members, you should join it. then you wont have to worry about raiding your neighbors or having them crash you. everyone can just get along in your galaxy and take turns plundering the two inactive players. (Courtesy of BashYou)

Wings/Academies Immediately create a wing for your alliance. Then declare that all new member must join the wing first, before they can join you in your glorious one-man alliance. (Courtesy of Turin_Turambar)

More on Circulars use circular message at least 5 times a day and give the privelege to all members even the lowest.. you never know when that IM BEING ATTACKED IN 20 minutes someone please help.. is going to pay off then when someone complains gripe about how you never use the circular complain to the member tha did it (Courtesy of Darkpriest667)

Dealing with Leaving members Whenever someone leaves your alliance threaten them and call them a coward and a traitor.. remember you will need them to help you attack other players you have kicked out after accusing them of spying (Courtesy of Darkpriest667)

War Declarations Also make sure as many members as possible demand you declare war on someone they know. Popular reasons include : 1) Hes a fag 2)They probed me 3)I was at school and he "balh blah blah" 4)They called our leader a fag and said our allaince suxs. ( Notice the sophisticated manipulation) 5) He crashed me becuase im lazy. (Courtesy of Pesky Ninja)

Imitation Remember also; Imitation is the highest form of flattery - so name yourself the same thing as one of the biggest alliances you can find! They'll be so thrilled that you have honoured them by carrying on their name that they'll probably send you free stuff. If they dont, you can always beg for free stuff on the forum; Im sure someone will send it right along if you're REALLY begging! Make sure to post such begging requests in EVERY possible forum, and so everyone can send you stuff! (Courtesy of The Punish-ed)

Alliance Picture Put a completely irrelevant Alliance Picture... Extra Points if its Copyrighted
Double Points if you Hotlink it, Infinite points if the host changes it to something along the lines of "I am a Bandwidth Thief" (Courtesy of Sinkwa Khumalo)

Raids Show Off in Circular You can't have a good alliance if every single member doesn't send his crashes/raids of the day in the circ by pasting the battle report, how else would you know that your members are doing well in the game? And never kick out inactive players, because their points add to your alliance points, and you need to be ranked top 10 with 147 members in the first week of the uni, right? (Courtesy of MasaMune)

How to inform clanmates of attacks when being attacked by other members, do not tell them the cords of the place they are attacking, they like the pointless messages where you say "lololololol i saved mah fleet u r loser lolololol" and have no mention of the cords of the planet that they have sent their fleet for. REMEMBER they only have a grudge against you and are only attacking you, not another 12 targets.

War Waging Be careful who you attempt to wage war on. go for the players who have more points than your alliance combined, these players have no chance against your 3 LF. you will have them trembling in their boots. (Courtesy of phoenix of light)

Precompiled Ranks Ranks should be confusing, mixed and contradictory as far as possible, sow the seeds of confusion amongst any spies; everyone will be spying remember! Here are some ready made ranks yoiu can copy and paste!
(Points - Rank)

1 - 100 - Lance Corporal
101 - 200 - Corporal
201 - 300 - Seargent
301-400 - Staff Seargent
401 - 500 - Red Seargent
501 - 600 - Amber Seargents
601 - 700 - Green Seargent
701 - 800 - Rainbow Seargent
801 - 900 - Bronze Seargent
901 - 1000 - Silver Seargent
1001 - 1100 - Gold Seargent
1101 - 1200 - Warrant Officer 2nd Class
1201 - 1300 - Warrant Officer 1st Class
1301 - 1400 - Quartermaster Seargent
1401 - 1500 - Artificer
1501 - 1600 - Seargent Major
1601 - 1700 - Officer in Training
1701 - 1800 - Officer Cadete
1801 - 1900 - Officer Designate
1901 - 2000 - Officer
2000 - 2500 - 2nd Leutenant
2501 - 3000 - 1st Leutenant
3001 - 3500 - Leutenant Commander
3501 -4000 - Commander
4001 - 4500 - Captain
4501 - 5000 - General
5001 - 6000 - Major
6001 - 7000 - Leutenant Colonel
7001 - 8000 - Colonel
8001 - 9000 - Brigadier
9001 - 10000 - Major General
10001 - 15000 - Leutenant General
15001 - 20000 - General
20001 - 30000 - Vice Marshall
30001 - 40000 - Marshall
40001 - 50000 - Prince
50001 - 60000 - King
60001 - 70000 - Emporer
70001 - 80000 - President
80001 - 90000 - Supreme Overlord
90001 - 100000 - Immortal
100001 - 150000 - Demi God
150001 - 200000 - God
200001 - 300000 - WIZARD!
300001+ - 'The Guy Farming us'


And so forth and so on. (Courtesy of The Punish-ed)

Ship Production after Attacks After you get attacked, do not get a cargo ship, because they can't fight for you. You must buy the light fighter.Oh yeah one more thing, do not buy loads of different ships. Instead, get one type of ship, eg, loads of light fighters, as then if the total firepower is even 1 more than the enemies, you will win a battle.Do not harvest the DF, as recyclers are too slow. (Courtesy of C h a r l e s)

Informing Alliance Mates of your Progresses Of course telling your alliance mates that you are going to get heavy fighters in 72 h, and then reminding them every 2 h about it is a must, and never, ever inform them about an attack on you untill it gets down to 7 minutes before the hit to ask someone to defend you, but you can't fleetsave then, because the attacker might recall. Also, posting your fleet and research on the alliance forum is mandatory, that way, the founder with his abundance of two weeks game experience can tell you how to play your account, and what to build next. (Courtesy of Masa_Mune)

Don't Update Alliance Page, Ever. Don't forget, you should never ever update your alliance page! So it looks so leet a year after the ally forming, the diplomat on the page is a member of a warring alliance against you! How cool will that be?! (Courtesy of Gaishe)

Typical newbie message "HELLO, I AM THE NEW MEMBER. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT DECLARING WAR TO *insert a number of alliances*
_ sure, why not (Tongue ), which ones can you crash?
_ ERM...WELL I AM A MINER BUT..." (Courtesy of Xual)

Merging Big Alliances Once your up and running, it's vital for you to 'swallow' other alliances; the Bigger the better! Locate the biggest alliances and send them something like;

We Are 'The Ultra Mega Destroyers Of The Multiverse Pure Full Of Wizards And Stuff That Will Nuke Your Mom" (WATUMDOTMPFOWASTWNYM) And we're going places!! All your members are invited to join us; we'll even add you're name to our Glorious title and make you all 'Rainbow Seargents' when you join! You Know It makes sense!


They'll probably either smack you and/or send you something like;

Contact me or my alliance again and we will mess you up good and proper


DONT worry! They're just playing hard to get - they're nervous is all! Immediately send them another message;

This is your last chance, the next time you see us, we'll be faming yous!"


Then Quickly change your name to include theirs anyways; and start to message all their alliance members, giving them all the chance to jump ship!

They'll probably crumble at this point and write poems about you!

If they hit you, remember they're just TESTING you! It's your words and attitude versus their superior minds,experience and weapons; so just keep shouting and complaining and threatening them until you inevitably win and they all sign up for the academy!!!!

Never give up, ESPECIALLY when you are beaten! Also, 1 Light Fighter should be able to hit the exhaust port of any enemy deathstars; so whenever you see one, send 1 Lf at it and USE THE FORCE! (Courtesy of The Punish-ed)
Last edited by M A F I A on 29 Nov 2006 23:09, edited 3 times in total.
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ThE)TommyGun

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SpaceFed Major General
SpaceFed Major General

Posts: 697

Joined: 05 Nov 2005 05:40

Location: Belgrade

Post 28 Nov 2006 01:42

ahahahaha, you r star bro. :D
SPES MEA IN DEO EST
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ThE)Mycroft

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The Hand of SC2
The Hand of SC2

Posts: 179

Joined: 13 Oct 2006 11:44

Location: UK

Post 28 Nov 2006 02:43

Re: How to create a Lame-Alliance in 10 Easy Steps

ThE)MaFiA wrote:
5) Step Five: Ranks - Everybody likes ranks, so in order to please your members invent as many and as elaborate as you can, and possibly make it so that 'commanders and generals ranks' are more frequent than lower ranks, some good example of powerful ranks are : Supreme General, Fleet Admiral, Great Knight of The Stars etc...



like the sound of Great Knight of The Stars can i be one :)
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Vlandmist

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A D M I N

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Joined: 29 Jun 2002 17:15

Post 29 Nov 2006 22:25

ahahah great :)
Good Ol' Times
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ThE)Rain wrote:Ora scusate ma il romano fancazzista e nulla facente deve farsi 300 km per lavoro, dopo che se ne è fatti 150 oggi... Di sicuro un padano ne farebbe 500 ma io essendo un porco posso permettermi solo questo.
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Mustakrakish

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Posts: 14

Joined: 28 Oct 2006 17:43

Location: Finland

Post 30 Nov 2006 00:23

hilarious...
im gunna start that type alliance next uni that opens! Whos in!??!! LOL






...not
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God created rock´n roll, Satan twisted it into heavy metal!
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Th2)MindoftheMC(U18)

Post 30 Nov 2006 00:28

There is already an alliance like that in uni 18...i believe its called URF.
They make an allaince like that in every universe they can and thats why they are in second with 43 members because not everyone has time for every universe.
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Th2)Sobek

Post 30 Nov 2006 02:22

reminds me of TAC oh the good... wait bad old days

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